In a Tip to the Bard

It's a smack-down....really "old school"....in the Shakespeare style.

"You have the understanding of an infant--but this is very well, if a child you are--reliant on the willingness and care of those 'round about to hold their noses, gather your soiled garments, and wipe your bare ass. This is a task that all do quite willingly for the very young. But there have been decades since you sat up to your mother's breast; What then is your reasoning? You speak proudly of your manhood and erudition, then soil yourself in your naiveté' and crass calumny. Is there no hair yet upon your chest and arms? You wryly lay claim to a salient command of science and art, yet spout only childish philosophies.

Well it seems that you would have me run through your gates and traps once again; defend my faith yet cry "foul!" if I venture the slightest retort. Quite the fragile boy, you are!

But you are worse than a child, for a babe knows nothing more. You embrace your reckless ignorance like a drunkard does his wine. It is both shield and sword to you--but good for neither.

Fine then! As I have been the needy recipient of grace up til this very day, may the Lord in Heaven give me patience as I come 'round to mop up your filth once again, resist the temptation to strike your bare bottom with a cane in the process whilst it hangs out, and explain it to you one more time.

But remember this: I may be willing to wipe your ass, dear child, but dare not ask that I kiss it."

I giggleth, therfore I am.

Be well,
Huckleberry